Wednesday, October 22, 2014

longing for someone

Carpe Diem Special # 113 haiku for inspiration 

longing for someone
I sit by the gate and draw
eyebrows on a melon

© Shiba Sonome


My attempts:

without you
days and nights mixed
rain falls


_

snow falls softly
your face swirled in the mix
eyelashes crystalizing


_

winter’s cold settles
your impression marks the bed
where dreams will not rise



_


curling up alone
in the imprint where you slept
tears no longer flow






12 comments:

  1. Loneliest by far - when the tears no longer flow ....
    They are all so powerful -- but I'm especially hit by the final two. Very well done.

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    Replies
    1. Thank you so much. They come not from experience, but from thoughts of loosing a spouse

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  2. Yes, I agree, the haiku seemed to grow, hitting really powerful notes on the last two....ah...that capcha...keep losing my comment to get it right.

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  3. There is a progression in your haiku of a the end and how to cope with loss.. curling up might be the one thing to do

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  4. I was thinking of them as individual poems, but now that I see the progression I like the feeling.

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  5. curling up alone
    in the imprint where you slept
    tears no longer flow

    the set are a wonderful story ... but this final line is the nadir of longing

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